Strategies for the Supporting Partner
For the supporting partner, respectful communication often begins with slowing down.
Ideally, the supporting partner offers dignity, space, and respect, rather than rushing in to manage everything, says Williams. “Even partners with loving intentions often fill the space with plans, answers, or instructions before the person with Alzheimer’s has time to respond,” she says.
A practical way to work against that habit is to pause longer than feels natural before repeating a question, rephrasing, or answering for your partner. That extra time gives the person with Alzheimer’s more room to process the question, search for a word, or finish the thought, says Williams.
Avoid correcting your partner when possible, especially when you’re around other people. Mulder recommends listening less for perfect accuracy and more for the feeling underneath what is being said.
Being present for your person is often enough, she says. “Just sitting with a person and letting them share their experience of their emotions, and being okay with absorbing it and not feeling like you have to fix it,” says Mulder. “That may mean offering reassurance such as ‘I’m here,’ ‘We’re in this together,’ or ‘You’re safe with me.’”
Williams cautions against what she calls the Pollyanna response — false assurances that brush aside fear or sadness because it is painful to sit with. “We’re often meeting our own needs when we do that; we’re not meeting the other person’s needs,” she says. Sometimes a more honest response is simply, ‘I’m worried, too.’”
Respectful communication also means keeping an adult-to-adult tone. “You may need to use shorter, clearer communication but should avoid treating the person like a child or denying them dignity as an adult with a health condition,” says Williams.
Nonverbal communication matters, too. Williams recommends setting aside moments when the supporting partner is not trying to manage the day, solve a problem, or make a plan. “Sitting with them, giving them eye contact, holding their hand; not talking about plans for the day, not talking about other things, just being open. While that sounds easy, it’s not. It takes effort and intention,” says Williams.
Source link